Who was I?
by kitsunepunk400
Summary: Not good at summaries, but it is about Canada being trapped and forgetting who he was before. It may continue later on but idk. Warning: contains yaoi and metion of abuse and Stockholm syndrome.
1. Who was I?

Me: Well I decided to write another Canada fic... Its angsty and a bit sad... I hope I dont offend anyone with this fic. In addition, please dont fill my inbox with hate mail or flame me I am giving you a fair warning.

Warning: This fic mentions Stockholm syndrome and abuse. It is yaoi/shonen ai meaning Boy x Boy or Homosexual relations. Please if you do not like it, turn back and save yourself from the metal scarring.

_ Line Break_

Its been a while since I've seen the light outside of my four wall prison. I have not stepped foot outside of this room. I cannot even remember what the outside world look like. I cannot remember what the sun felt like nor how the winter breeze felt brushing against my face. All I remember now is the one who has held me here, the one I am told I love, but something in my chest beats painfully denying me to truly "love" him.

I lost all memories of my life outside and the only thing I know is him... his bright green eyes and his sandy blonde hair. His loving caresses and his painful blows hurt me deeply. He tells me I am his and that I am never to leave him as my brother did. A brother, a father, those words send sadness coursing my being. They sting knowing that they probably never knew who I was if I never left this place.

My lover... he steps into the room carrying with him medical supplies and two cups of tea... Tea this drink warms me and shows me that there is good in this man. That he truly loves me. That thought alone has comforted me. I look across the room and see a mirror hanging there. I take a look at my appearance to make sure that the person I saw last time was the one I saw the day before and the one before that and so on and so forth.

I see that I have blond hair and a stray curl that falls in my face. I have indigo eyes and a pair of glasses that have dirtied the time I have been here I believe. I see that my skin looks deathly pale, maybe the lack of sun... I look back at my love and see him smiling at me. I smile and I know that he loves it. I shuffle on the bed the blanket falling from my shoulders as I sit up. He walks to me and starts re-dressing my wounds.

They were never intentional though, usually the alcohol was what clouded his judgment. He tries to hide me away when he drinks to avoid me getting hurt, but sometimes it fails. The next day I wake up and see the pain in his eyes as he looks at my wounds and patches me up. I assure him that he didn't mean to hurt me and he just cries into my hair as he holds me. Today is no different.

He looks at me with pain filled eyes that makes me want to hold him. When he is done, he sits next to me enveloping me in a careful hug. He buries his face into my hair and says the words I have heard time and time again.

"I'm so sorry love; I should have been able to hide you better. You do know that I love you... Don't you Matthew...?" he asks me as I pull him closer and nuzzle his neck. This man the only thing I knew, apart from who I was, was the only thing that mattered to me. I knew that there was no way I could ever hate him, and with all honesty, I reply the same.

"I forgive you... I love you too Arthur." I hug him and let him kiss me...

_I can depend on this man... This man is the only thing I need... _I think to myself as we fall onto the bed. I let myself fall into the pleasure and love... but the feeling of wrongness set in... The question I always asked myself flashed in my mind... Is this really me?

_ End_

Me: Well if you want me to continue, please tell me and I'll do so as soon as I get 15 requests for the next chapter. Please if you do not like it, please don't flame my story. Any flames will be disregarded and ignored. Thank you to those that enjoyed the story, please leave your comments and constructive criticism.

With all my love,

Ren V S


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

I hate to write these as much as you all hate reading them. –sighs- So I apologize that I haven't updated in months, but I had been receiving so much hate mail that I took an unannounced break. –sighs- I will continue these fics as most want it to, but have patience per favore. I have problems too…Depression, loss of family, etc… I know most of you don't want to here my life's story so I'll cut it short. The hate mail was making my life worse so I tool a break from it. I was originally just going to stop writing, but after seeing that a few of my works were being read and people were actually enjoying I changed my mind so… –sighs- Now that I am back, I am fully prepared for all the hate and stuff since problems have been fixed and yea. Sorry if you were all expecting an update or something of that nature. I may be discontinuing one of my works, but I have made no final decision. So once again I apologize for the lack of updates, but… -smiles slightly- I'm back~ And I will continue on strong. Grazie mille to all those readers that have been waiting. Hopefully by the weekend I'll have had one of my works updated.

Sincerely, Ren


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